Say ‘NO’ to The Pink Glittered Penis: A Bachelorette Series

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|| Bachelorette Series Introduction ||

 

Hot pink glittered penises paired with a zebra print “Bachelorette” sash and a furry plastic tiara not exactly your thing? How about games that get waaaaaay too into your private bedroom business? Or getting so sloppy that you climb (with assistance from your Maid of Honor) up on the bar and flash your lady bits?

drunken mess

sloppy.com/stopme

Yeah. . .me neither. (And just so ya know, I am far from prude…nor am I sober all the time.) But let’s be real. We’ve all gone to the mall, stood in that aisle at Spencers, and wondered (jaw open—no pun intended) just how many cheap plastic trinkets the bachelorette party industry can manufacture in the shape of a phallus.

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I. Just. Can’t.

I remember being 21-ish the first time I saw the straws. STRAWS? Really? Baby-sized male parts on the top of a straw that you drink some Malibu Rum out of? I know I rolled my eyes, thinking, “Obviously these exist…obviously.”

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“Need I see more?”

So ladies, hear me out. Put down the Rainbow Penis LOLLipop, step away from the purple- feathered Penis Lei, and leave the mall immediately. (But first be sure to stop in at Forever 21 (or Anthro, depending on your maturity level) and check the sale racks!)

Note: FCW is not a hater-nation so shout out to you ladies that do love a good tissue garland of flesh colored boy parts… It just ain’t for e’rybody, ya dig? 

I’ve had the pleasure of attending and contributing to many bachelorette parties over the past few years, and I’ve loved every one of them—from the planning process to the décor to the custom-made “personal party veils” I’ve made for the brides. Just as the wedding should be a unique celebration of the couple, the bachelorette party should be a unique celebration of the bride: her style, her friendships, and her love.

In keeping with this idea, this will be an ongoing series of blogs dedicated to the new-age bachelorette. The lady that wants to celebrate her womanhood, her amazing sisters and friends, and the next chapter of her life surrounded by a customized representation of who she is—and NOT a bunch of plastic penis straws.

You know I love a good sneak peek, so here are a few tantalizing teasers. Stay tuned for the series to begin.

|| COMING SOON ||

Always a Flower Child 

1960’s inspired bohemian beach // Charleston SC 2014 // Carli

Beautiful Bride Carli // 1960's Flower Child Bachelorette

Beautiful Bride Carli // 1960’s Flower Child Bachelorette

 

Mountain Gypsy Sisters 

Bohemian gypsy inspired mountain get-a-way // Helen GA 2012 // Laurel

Mountain gypsy bachelorette

Mustaches – HOT!

 

 Retro Seaside Pin-up Girls

1950’s inspired beach glam // Pensacola FL 2013 // Heather

1950's Beachy Bachelorette Weekend

1950’s Beachy Bachelorette Weekend

I can’t wait to get started, and for us to breathe life into a new era of all things bachelorette!

PS – Note how these party ideas give you photos you can actually share with the public (although each party has its own share of NEVER-TO-BE-SEEN PHOTOS as well—it wouldn’t be a bachelorette party without them!)

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